So you’re looking for peace or something to believe in?

The one thing I will always find curious is born-again Christians who were raised to believe in Jesus but then went through their raging Lesbian/queer phase, liberal/leftist, feminist, witch/new age, drug and sex phase only to come back to a life where they say they are finally happy because they found God and Jesus saved them. 

I’m a little curious about folks who are so identity-focused or who get a sense of euphoria from identifying some sort of way that it basically runs their life for the most part. Maybe runs isn’t the right word but it plays a major role because, and hear me out here, maybe a strong sense of self isn’t there? 

Constantly seeking answers to questions and chasing highs in life is kinda hard to stop once you get on that bandwagon. I’ve read somewhere that “self-improvement and healing can be addictive” and I see that. New age spiritualists are full of non-indigenous folks tapping into indigenous practices to feel some sort of way or purpose in their life after feeling pretty much everything else they no longer want to feel. And I think this initial euphoria is what makes white “shamans” believe they’re meant to be healers not realizing that the ego took over and convinced them that they should be because somehow they believe they have all the answers or could somehow get them. 

I watched a video of a non-indigenous person who is a born-again Christian and the way she demonized all spiritual practices outside of Christianity and Jesus was so expected, it was like watching the potential of colonization happening all over again. Just othering the opposite to the degree where they believe it’s all of the devil and Satanic practices. 

“The road to hell is paved with good intention” all people of all sorts of beliefs utter this. Yes, the born-again Christian said this too because her intentions were to find peace in her life, and of course, Jesus gave her that. Before finding Jesus though, she claims she went through hell. How do we know she still isn’t in there and just found herself at peace with it due to her belief in giving herself up to Jesus? A sense of surrender is different from giving up though, I will say. 

So what is it that we want: a strong sense of self or peace? Or do we want the peace that comes from a strong sense of self?
What’s wrong with having no sense of self? Nothing really – I think it’s quite healthy to also have a sense of self that isn’t quite there. Maybe life doesn’t need to have a purpose except to live and let live. Some people practice a sense of detachment in their lives from that sense of self because they understand that the only thing constant in life is change. To some people, change is hard. 

The problem I think is the anguish and stress that comes from the inner turmoil and belief that we must know who we are and “if you stand for nothing, you will fall for anything” – the two shouldn’t be conflated but I think they often are and now you see politics and identity being together like all the time, that annoying couple. 

Maybe politics give people a sense of identity and sense of purpose. Does it give them peace? 

Not if you’re supposed to be angry all the time at what the opposing parties do. Can you be angry all the time and be at peace? 

Do we even know what it means to be at peace with ourselves and in life overall?

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