Category: Unknown Territory

conversation with my peace

March 28, 2023

I started an active imagination meditation session last night after work. I had set the intention to hear a message that my subconscious could possibly deliver to me and I remained open to hear anything. This is what occured in my mind’s eye.

In front of me was my garage, empty except for a white table and two chairs. I took a seat and I waited. Maybe about a minute later, a pale woman appeared, walked up and sat down in front of me.

She was pale, with loose light brown hair down to her shoulders. Her face was long, and I just noticed her beady black eyes. She wore a white gown that was decorated in jewels/gems on the shoulders and what I assume to be all around else.

I spoke first. “Hi, so what are you?” I said so straightforward.

“I’m your peace,” she said.

L: Peace? Like world peace?
P: Your peace.
L: Ok, so what is your message to me?
P: You get bored of me
L: -chuckle- Ok I see that.
P: I’m not offended.
She smiles.

L: So….
P: Just wanting to remind you to be careful with what you do in order to find new stimulation.
L: Yeah, I am treading carefully – I’m already aware.
P: You sure?

L: No, but I appreciate the reminder
P: Everyone needs it sometimes. Don’t be too eager to ask for me only to want me to go away.
She was being funny, as I see her smirk.

L: I don’t want you to go away. I want you to be here always.
P: You’ll always find me around when I am requested.
L: Others don’t see it.

P: I’m YOUR peace. They don’t know me – they have to find theirs.

I look straight at her adorned dress.
L: Why the jewels?
P: They’re precious. Just like people who seek out peace. I am precious and highly sought for.
L: Most can’t find you.
P: They don’t know how to look.
L: They don’t know how you look like.

She laughs right as the view of the whole scene fades away.
safer in familiar misery

March 9, 2023

Ask yourself: How am I complicit in creating the conditions I say I don’t want?

And creating conditions that you say you don’t want isn’t always conscious; sometimes we continue our poor habits because they provide us with a sense of security that has the negative tradeoff of not allowing us to progress.

Progressing in things doesn’t always provide security. We feel safer in familiar misery than we do in futures with uncertainty.

Why do you relapse when you are trying to heal yourself? Because sometimes it’s too overwhelming to face the uncertainty and the pain of facing your fears or past traumas that we rather regress. We regress to feel okay in our bodies.

We often don’t know how to make our bodies feel safe enough to be able to regulate ourselves when we are moving into the dark/unknown.

Some things may be society’s fault but ultimately our personal responsibility and chances to hold ourselves accountable can greatly improve our mental health AND outcomes overall to where society’s implications can ultimately affect us little. When recognizing where our power truly is and using it to our benefit, it seems almost impossible to let outside circumstances dictate what we have to feel, think, and react to.
what if we don’t know what we don’t know?

December 9, 2022

What if we are all wrong because as humans we think there are only facts and fiction or truth and lies, that trusted binary when there could be more intended to be known?

We don’t know what we don’t know and we don’t even know if there’s such thing as a god but assume there is or isn’t? What if that’s not even the question that leads to the answer we are wondering?

Like we have various beliefs on various things and what is that besides our conscience expanding?

Things humans can’t even explain yet and we have to trust that there are only facts and lies?

And here comes perspective, kept out of that dialect.

Then people speak as if reality is not just one thing either but multiple things like multiple realities. And our understanding shifts in different contexts and experiences. Our experiences and beliefs essentially make us who we are and we are individual conscience entities that remain connected to a collective

Which brings back the scientific question, what is consciousness? Is that something related to having a soul, being moral, or being an individual?

Or are we just organic computers who identify with labels to describe our collection of beliefs and experiences? There would be no Liz outside of my physical body and mind…

And when I die, I will simply shut down as a system before my organic material just rots away soon after.

God, what if organic material is just smaller entities of consciousness that know how to keep themselves alive.
get into that shadow work, girl

November 26, 2022

If men can admit they’re awful at times, why can’t women too?

Get into that shadow work, girl; it doesn’t serve us to just try to keep being good.

Learn when it’s necessary to be bad.

Some believe that A person who doesn’t know when to be bad or doesn’t know when to use evil isn’t a good person. They’re a weak person. Being weak isn’t a bad thing but if you want to be safe and in better situations, you know you gotta have some strength. ALWAYS Being weak or vulnerable isn’t a really good option.

A truly good person is someone who knows that they have the capacity to be evil but chooses to be good anyway.

Be vulnerable when it’s safe. Be a monster when it’s life or death.

Don’t play with shadow work just to be a happy, healed sunshine girl.

If you’re going to delve into it, be aware that it’s not about healing.
Shadow work is not meant to heal you.

It definitely benefits many that way but like the real intentions behind shadow work, people will never go far to understand its primary purpose.

Just because they want to stop the pain and go.
The pain isn’t meant to be stopped, not entirely.

What is the purpose or ultimate goal of Shadow work then, Liz?

I’ll explain that later.
how could anything that feels good be bad?

November 22, 2022

I was reading a private confession posted online in a forum website I shall not name, as it’s irrelevant. I thought it was interesting that the person who posted it spoke of working for a high-profile predator that I will also not name because their name deserves no space here and while working for this high-profile predator, there were moments where the writer of the confession brings up an interesting observation while seeing said predator in a potentially vulnerable moment.

Frankly, the monster here having any vulnerable moment is not worthy of any empathy that you, dear reader, may be able to hold for them. I doubt you would want to bother knowing anything to feel sorry for this entity but I made interesting connections to their thoughtful moment with some thoughts I’ve been harboring for a while about hedonism.

If you are not familiar with hedonism, to engage in hedonistic behavior is to pursue all pleasure or sensual self-indulgence. Is it a good thing? I will leave that up for you to decide but on to my point here…

This entity in mind asked the writer “how could anything that feels good could be bad?” (actual quote from their writing). Coming from a hedonistic predator, that question made my eyebrows rise so high, I thought I lost them after reading that line. He briefly spoke to the writer about hedonism before letting him go – this the writer did not elaborate any further on but I would have been curious to look into why…

Or rather how… how does someone who has committed so much harm in the name of hedonism even get to a point to ask such a philosophical question?

It makes me wonder what kind of pain was this entity avoiding? What kind of relationship this entity had with its pain?

What kind of motivations did this person have?
What did they run from? What were the truths that they were trying to deny?
How lost were they in their lives to think this question even was worth asking?

Not that it’s a bad question, but the context behind it makes it awful to think about.

What is the problem with pleasure, my friend?

How far can people take pleasure?
By then, is it still… pleasure?

Category: Unknown Territory

conversation with my peace

safer in familiar misery

what if we don’t know what we don’t know?

get into that shadow work, girl

how could anything that feels good be bad?